While walking down a street a few days ago I saw up a crumpled piece of, what looked like, paper. As I picked it up I tried to read the blurred lines and running ink. What I read was startling and sickening. In scribbled writing someone had written nearly 20 reasons why they deemed themselves worthless. The reasons ranged from things as simple as people telling the author s/he was worthless to reasons such as incompetence in work and life. Anger poured from the wrinkled page. It was as if I could feel the sadness of the writer washing over me. All the pain, regrets, and rage met my eyes as I read on.
Reading that piece of paper made me realize just how many people, specifically this one pitiful soul, have emotional pain. Pain no one can see. Anger only they feel. A sense of un-tamable frenzy that makes so many people frustrated and bitter. The problem though, the real issue, is that no one is helping. So many people feel worthless and empty because no one cares.
The point to this, the reason for this being written, is to tell you that no matter how bad things are, no matter what you've done, or who you are- you are not worthless. The person, no doubt an amazing, wonderful being, who wrote that paper was wrong. S/he is not worthless. Neither are you. Tomorrow is never too late, and taking that first step forward is always the hardest part. But remember that God is holding your hand.
This is to all of you who have had struggles. To all of you who are still struggling, and to everyone who cares to read. Remember that there is nothing too big or bad that cant be taken care of. Tomorrow is a new day and you always have a clean slate. The trials of the past may be your excuse for holding back, but let them go! Let all the pain go. Instead of holding it inside, remember that 'someday' is not a day of the week. If you want something to happen, do it now. You are not worthless! Even if you feel that no one loves you. That no one could love you, God loves you.
Here's to the people who believe they're worthless:
Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight
Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are
There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you
Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead
Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are
So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl -More Beautiful You By Jonny Diaz
Monday, August 8, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Memories Are Sweet- Cherish Them
If you've read my previous posts (well, the few that I have), then you know I don't really get personal. I keep things to the point, and try to keep my wrtings short and sweet. Well this post is going to be different. I have a personal reason for writing this. Most people, when looking back on life, think of a time when everything seemed perfect, but didn't realize it until later. I too, have a time when I was totally obvlivious to the great things in my life. Looking back on all the memories, I didn't realize how lucky I truly was. I suppose I had better tell you about that time, before I lose your interest in a sob story of how I wish I could go back in time to change things.
The story starts when I was only seven years old. I was living in Maine, with all my family and loving it. My father was in the Navy, and when we got the orders to move to Patuxent River, Maryland, I was crushed. Everything I had ever know was in Maine. Well, come January we were living in Maryland. I hated it at first. I complained all the time, and pouted just to annoy my parents. To be honest, I wanted them to pay for making me leave Maine, so I made life miserable for them. That only lasted a bit, though. As the dreary days of January and February past into the warm spring days of March and April, I began to warm up to Pax River.
One day in, about April I suppose, there was a new girl at school. Jazzmyn was her name. Although I am now ashamed of it, I distinctly remember looking at her tall frame standing there with big, goofy glasses and a striped shirt, and thinking that she was a dork, and that I would never be freinds with her. It seems almost funny now that I've known her for nearly eight years and consider her a sister. Come May, I turned eight years old. School got out and I passed the second grade with straight A's on June 18th (it's beyond me how I remeber the exact day). By then I liked Maryland, I loved Maine still, but there were worse places I could be than the small Naval base there.
Then I met him. A boy, that to this day, is still making my life wonderful and who makes me smile. The boy that can look at the huge grin on my face and ask, "What's wrong?" because he knows me that well. The boy that, when he comes to visit, is going to shove me off my bed and steal my blanket at night (inside joke). His name was/is Devin.
I had seen him around before, sure, I even talked to him a few times. He was my neighbor, and was in a grade higher than me, so he waited for the bus at my stop too. But that one day when I was playing on my front lawn in June really changed my life a lot, and I know it was for the better. He just stopped by for about two minutes to say hi and just talk. I, being freakishly shy, was too stunned to say much. I liked talking to him, though. All I remember from the conversation is as he was about to walk away, he turned to me with the mischevious, boyish grin that I now know so well (the one I love), and said, "You know what? By the time I'm done with you, you wont be shy anymore." All I could do was smile.
Enough about him though. Devin is half of the reason I began to love Maryland, but not all of it. Let's talk about the other half. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was the glow of the fireflies in the darkness of all those summer nights. Or the way the sun would shine just right sometimes, and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe it was the huge birthday part I had when I turned nine. The one my mom told me I could invite eight people to, but about seventeen ended up coming. I'm not sure what it was, exactly. All I know is that I loved it.
What I look back on, in regret though, was that I didn't realize it at the time. I didn't realize that I was surrounded by people; family and friends alike, who loved me. I think of Maryland all the time. It brings bittter sweet memories. Sweet because, well, everyday of my life was sweet while we lived there. Bitter because I have a horrible longing to be able to go back. To be able to live like that just one more time.
People often say that when a loved one passes, not a day goes by for the rest of their lives that they don't think of them. I have never lost someone close to me, but I do know that I think of Maryland every waking second. It's the last thing I remember before I fall asleep. I often wonder if maybe its because of all the 'crap' shall we say, that has since happened. To put it simply, Maryland, so far, has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Well, not Maryland itself, but all the people there. All the places. All the smiles, the friendship, the happiness, the warmth.
So, bottom line- live life as if today is the best thing that has ever happend to you. Because for all you know, it just might be. Life is what you make it. We all have regrets, or something we wish we could change. Personally, I see nothing wrong with that. People say, "Live with no regrets." If you were to ask me though, I wouldn't agree. It's good to have them- regrets are what keep you from messing up again. It's only when you give up on life because of the weight of all the regrets that they become bad. I wish, with all my being, that I had realized just how lucky I was. I will never again make that mistake.
My advice to whomever may be reading this is simple.
Life is short. Live it.
Love is rare. Grab it.
Fear is awful. Face it.
Anger is bad. Dump it.
Memories are sweet. Cherish them.
The story starts when I was only seven years old. I was living in Maine, with all my family and loving it. My father was in the Navy, and when we got the orders to move to Patuxent River, Maryland, I was crushed. Everything I had ever know was in Maine. Well, come January we were living in Maryland. I hated it at first. I complained all the time, and pouted just to annoy my parents. To be honest, I wanted them to pay for making me leave Maine, so I made life miserable for them. That only lasted a bit, though. As the dreary days of January and February past into the warm spring days of March and April, I began to warm up to Pax River.
One day in, about April I suppose, there was a new girl at school. Jazzmyn was her name. Although I am now ashamed of it, I distinctly remember looking at her tall frame standing there with big, goofy glasses and a striped shirt, and thinking that she was a dork, and that I would never be freinds with her. It seems almost funny now that I've known her for nearly eight years and consider her a sister. Come May, I turned eight years old. School got out and I passed the second grade with straight A's on June 18th (it's beyond me how I remeber the exact day). By then I liked Maryland, I loved Maine still, but there were worse places I could be than the small Naval base there.
Then I met him. A boy, that to this day, is still making my life wonderful and who makes me smile. The boy that can look at the huge grin on my face and ask, "What's wrong?" because he knows me that well. The boy that, when he comes to visit, is going to shove me off my bed and steal my blanket at night (inside joke). His name was/is Devin.
I had seen him around before, sure, I even talked to him a few times. He was my neighbor, and was in a grade higher than me, so he waited for the bus at my stop too. But that one day when I was playing on my front lawn in June really changed my life a lot, and I know it was for the better. He just stopped by for about two minutes to say hi and just talk. I, being freakishly shy, was too stunned to say much. I liked talking to him, though. All I remember from the conversation is as he was about to walk away, he turned to me with the mischevious, boyish grin that I now know so well (the one I love), and said, "You know what? By the time I'm done with you, you wont be shy anymore." All I could do was smile.
Enough about him though. Devin is half of the reason I began to love Maryland, but not all of it. Let's talk about the other half. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was the glow of the fireflies in the darkness of all those summer nights. Or the way the sun would shine just right sometimes, and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe it was the huge birthday part I had when I turned nine. The one my mom told me I could invite eight people to, but about seventeen ended up coming. I'm not sure what it was, exactly. All I know is that I loved it.
What I look back on, in regret though, was that I didn't realize it at the time. I didn't realize that I was surrounded by people; family and friends alike, who loved me. I think of Maryland all the time. It brings bittter sweet memories. Sweet because, well, everyday of my life was sweet while we lived there. Bitter because I have a horrible longing to be able to go back. To be able to live like that just one more time.
People often say that when a loved one passes, not a day goes by for the rest of their lives that they don't think of them. I have never lost someone close to me, but I do know that I think of Maryland every waking second. It's the last thing I remember before I fall asleep. I often wonder if maybe its because of all the 'crap' shall we say, that has since happened. To put it simply, Maryland, so far, has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Well, not Maryland itself, but all the people there. All the places. All the smiles, the friendship, the happiness, the warmth.
So, bottom line- live life as if today is the best thing that has ever happend to you. Because for all you know, it just might be. Life is what you make it. We all have regrets, or something we wish we could change. Personally, I see nothing wrong with that. People say, "Live with no regrets." If you were to ask me though, I wouldn't agree. It's good to have them- regrets are what keep you from messing up again. It's only when you give up on life because of the weight of all the regrets that they become bad. I wish, with all my being, that I had realized just how lucky I was. I will never again make that mistake.
My advice to whomever may be reading this is simple.
Life is short. Live it.
Love is rare. Grab it.
Fear is awful. Face it.
Anger is bad. Dump it.
Memories are sweet. Cherish them.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Happy Independence Day!
As July 4th draws nearer many Americans happily adorn their yards with colorful decorations, children play with red-white-and blue pinwheels, and there are parades in almost every city! Amongst the joy and social events, it's easy for many of us to forget the true meaning of Independence day.
So, what is it, exactly? According to Wikipedia the Fourth of July is, "a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain."
This truly is a reason to rejoice! If not for this event, we may not have the freedom and liberties that we now have. Many lives were lost in battle, and a lot of people sacrificed for this event to happen. Many a brave man's one mission was to gain freedom, and to be able to provide a safe life for his family. Because of the truly courageous acts of proud Americans, we can all lie our heads down in peace every night.
I would like to thank all of the soldiers who fought, or are still fighting for our freedom, all of the patriotic citizens who stand or ever stood behind them, all of our forefathers and men who still so wisely rule this country, and all of the proud Americans, who still to this day will stand behind their families, their troops, their flag, but most of all- their country. It is because of you that this great country is what it is.
Besides our freedom, there are also many reasons for thanksgiving. I believe that the 4th of July isn't just about celebrating our liberties. It's a day to remember not only America's freedom and happiness, but yours. It's about what freedom looks like. Is it your five year old daughter with a chocolate covered face? Or is it your amazing recovery from cancer? How about your son's graduation? Maybe it's your fiftieth anniversary. It's your own personal reason for joy.
Let's not forget the festivities and fun, though! I know many of you, as well as myself, will be celebrating with fun games, food, parades and family. Picnics, fireworks, and carnivals make the special day of July 4th so interesting! I hope you all get many great pictures, and even better memories! Please remember to stay safe though, and have fun.
So, what is it, exactly? According to Wikipedia the Fourth of July is, "a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain."
This truly is a reason to rejoice! If not for this event, we may not have the freedom and liberties that we now have. Many lives were lost in battle, and a lot of people sacrificed for this event to happen. Many a brave man's one mission was to gain freedom, and to be able to provide a safe life for his family. Because of the truly courageous acts of proud Americans, we can all lie our heads down in peace every night.
I would like to thank all of the soldiers who fought, or are still fighting for our freedom, all of the patriotic citizens who stand or ever stood behind them, all of our forefathers and men who still so wisely rule this country, and all of the proud Americans, who still to this day will stand behind their families, their troops, their flag, but most of all- their country. It is because of you that this great country is what it is.
Besides our freedom, there are also many reasons for thanksgiving. I believe that the 4th of July isn't just about celebrating our liberties. It's a day to remember not only America's freedom and happiness, but yours. It's about what freedom looks like. Is it your five year old daughter with a chocolate covered face? Or is it your amazing recovery from cancer? How about your son's graduation? Maybe it's your fiftieth anniversary. It's your own personal reason for joy.
Let's not forget the festivities and fun, though! I know many of you, as well as myself, will be celebrating with fun games, food, parades and family. Picnics, fireworks, and carnivals make the special day of July 4th so interesting! I hope you all get many great pictures, and even better memories! Please remember to stay safe though, and have fun.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Five Names
Since I started this blog, the issue of what to write has been frequently on my mind. I thought about it, and thought about it, but could not think of what I would say. Nothing came to mind- until I read a touching article from a fellow blogger. The article is called "5 Names" and is written by a wonderful person who's blog is titled, "Front Porch"
In the few paragraphs the passage contains, the author sends the message of compassion and gives you a feeling inside, which cannot be described. More importantly though, the author reveals what is truly important. People you love. People you can rely on. This got me thinking. How many of us honestly have five people we can always count on, no matter what? Try counting, right now. And it has to be five people that you would bet your life on. One hundred and ten percent sure. I'm guessing at first, many of you blew it off as nothing and thought, "Of course I have five true friends!" But after trying to count them out specifically, you thought differently.
This wonderful article, written by just as wonderful a person also brought a somewhat touchy subject to mind. How many people are true friends. Are you going to stick through it all for somebody? I would like to believe I would, but only a hard time will tell. I hope that when that time comes, we will all have the strength to make the right decision and be a true friend. I also would like to say that I wish you all to have five amazing friends you can count on!
In closing think about the following: Can you name five people you can rely on? Would you be on somebodies "Five Names" list?
A nice song that goes amazingly
well with the topic ---> http://youtu.be/_jyafQe_2Do
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Beginning
Where to start? I honestly don't know. I suppose you would like to hear a bit about me, eh? There's really not much to say. I'll tell what I know though.
- First and foremost, Winter Shanai isn't even my real name. It's just a pen name. By the way, Shanai is pronounced Shu-nI (long I sound)
- Second, I absolutely love writing. If you couldn't already tell.
- My other great love is horses. You can expect to read many interesting things about them.
- My passions include Jesus and music.
- I am a Christian. My denomination is Baptist.
- I am very different from other people my age. I'm not talking "knee high socks (although I do love them!) and pleated skirt" different, I'm talking "way more mature" type different. I wont waste my time trying to prove it, but I'm sure through my writings you'll be able to see a difference.
- I don't have many friends. At. All.
- However, the whopping five friends I do have are amazing. I wouldn't trade them for the world!
- I am an army brat.
- I love all colors, but my favorites are dark blue, neon orange, woodsy brown, and midnight black. I don't actually like black by itself, but I enjoy looking at the black midnight sky as the light of the stars twinkle among it.
- I don't watch much t.v but I enjoy Criminal Minds and Prison Break.
- I am trustworthy and honest. I don't expect you to believe that, considering you don't know me, but I am.
- Last but not least, I love to smile and laugh!
So, I guess that just about describes me. I'll add my facebook bio, so you can see the less formal side of myself. Here it is:
Oh, where to start? haha. There's not much to say, really. I'm from Maine. I'm on the quiet side, but can be really loud too. Jesus is my life, horses are my love, and music is my passion. I pretty much like anything outdoorsy. I don't get mad very easily, and when I do I usually forget within a few minutes haha. I really really like polka dots and I don't know why haha. Ninja's are pretty awesome also :p Soooo yeah, I guess that's it! Just ask me if ya want to know more :D
.............__
............/.•_)
. _.----._/../ R
./.........../ A
/..(...|.(...| W
..-|_|---|_| R
.............__
............/.•_)
. _.----._/../ R
./.........../ A
/..(...|.(...| W
..-|_|---|_| R
● ●
/█\♥/█\
"Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality."
"Sometimes when we feel like we're at the end is when we finally realize there's so much more to live for."
/█\♥/█\
"Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality."
"Sometimes when we feel like we're at the end is when we finally realize there's so much more to live for."
The quotes are from a girl who's name I don't know.
So you can get a better idea of who I am, here are some of my favorite quotes:
Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. -Hitch
"I wouldn't marry any man who is really wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't" - Anne of Green Gables
"No one can change a person, but someone can be a person's reason to change" -Sponge Bob
"I wouldn't marry any man who is really wicked, but I think I'd like it if he could be wicked and wouldn't" - Anne of Green Gables
"No one can change a person, but someone can be a person's reason to change" -Sponge Bob
"Winners are simply willing to do what losers aren't" -Unknown
"If your heart was broken you'd be dead. So Shut up!" - Me
"Remember you're not strange your just not the same"- Not sure haha :) saw it on a friends status on Facebook
"If you want to fast, go by yourself, if you want to go far, go with others." -African proverb.
"If you can't find it in your own heart to be compassionate, look in someone else' before giving up on love altogether." - Unknown
"If God had wanted me otherwise, he would have created me otherwise." - Unknown
"Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God."-Unknown
"What would you want to be married to me for, anyhow?"
"So I can kiss you anytime I want." - Sweet Home Alabama
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do" - Unknown
"So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty"- Unknown
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."- Not sure
"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."- A friend Of mine
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do" - Unknown
"So much of what is best in us is bound up in our love of family, that it remains the measure of our stability because it measures our sense of loyalty"- Unknown
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."- Not sure
"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."- A friend Of mine
Remember that all through history, there have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they seem invincible. But in the end, they always fall. Always.- Not sure
"If you believe you can, you're right. If you believe you can't, you're right."-Unknown
"A player predicting failure fails"-Unknown
"You don't have to be better than everyone else, you just have to be better than you ever thought you could be."-Ken Venturi
"Winning doesn't always mean being first. Winning means you're doing better than you've ever done before."-Unknown
"Stop buying things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people you don't like."- Facebook
"If you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing."- Unknown
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?
--Ever After
"If you believe you can, you're right. If you believe you can't, you're right."-Unknown
"A player predicting failure fails"-Unknown
"You don't have to be better than everyone else, you just have to be better than you ever thought you could be."-Ken Venturi
"Winning doesn't always mean being first. Winning means you're doing better than you've ever done before."-Unknown
"Stop buying things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people you don't like."- Facebook
"If you don't live for something, you'll die for nothing."- Unknown
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or, was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?
--Ever After
By now, I believe you have had an adequate amount of information to figure out who I am. Thanks for reading!
Always me and always free,
Winter Shanai❁
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)